Remember back in May when I took that leap of faith and quit my job during the pandemic?   Well, I did do that, and I had no plan B whatsoever, I didn't even have a plan A for that matter.  I honestly did not know what I wanted to do when I grew up.  I was in the same position for many years and had never really search for a job.   

So, I decided at the beginning that I would take some time off and do some soul searching.   Well I learned a few things, the time off lasted precisely a day and a half and I actually like to be busy and work.  I enjoy working.  So now I needed to find something to do. 

I woke up one morning and started considering a path in IT.  I questioned if I could make the switch, I had never been inclined before.  Mildly interested in understanding concepts, but never passionate.  I am not a gamer really, but have always liked the latest tech toy and figuring them out.   Well I started researching and found a BootCamp program that might be the way to go, and it was connected to Northwestern, a very solid name.   Oh but alas it wasn't free and they were starting a session in like 2 weeks, this was late May, early June.  

Boot Camp got put on the backburner, but I wouldn't let it drop, I was seriously interested in it.  So I tried to find a way to get the money together and contacted them.  I had to take an assessment test.  Assessment test?  I hadn't taken a test since I was in college.  So I mentally prepared, which is to say, I took it when I was ready, I had no idea what would be on it.    But they did mention, searching Google for answers was acceptable.   Well turns out I only needed to search Google to double check I was correct on two answers.   I was proud of myself and I scored a perfect.   Elation and excitement do not quite convey the feelings I had at this point.    I went through the rest of the application process and spoke to my recruiter, a wonderful gentleman that I had a seriously long discussion with.   It was wonderful.   I was so excited.  

The program had prework to complete that was recommended before the class began.  So I buckled down and tried to start going through each module and to complete the tasks that were given to me.   I started jumped in and thought, what the hell have I paid for.  (not like that)  I was overwhelmed immediately.   All these ideas and information and things to execute without having any knowledge, was super intimidating.    So I got a tutor.  

I love my tutor, he is the best and seriously patient.   Since the program has you dive into so many things before you even start, its hard to help because there are no concepts, so he would have to figure out a way to explain things just enough so I would catch on.  I was seriously scared I had no idea what I was doing, and nothing made any sense.   Even though I was executing things and creating static sites (yeah definitely didn't know what that meant before I started), I conceptually had no clue what was going on. 

I had a breakdown before the program even started.  Ok that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it was very hard to see that I was progressing along, when I couldn't remember any of the concepts nor understand any of them. There were tears and a panic attack  due to the fear that I had committed to something I was not able to handle.  That is a real fear, and it wasn't a cheap commitment.  Remember I am having these doubts and I haven't actually gone through a class yet.  

I did things though, very simple little things, I made a couple of games in a program called Scratch.   I will share them here, because, well I am proud of myself yes they are simple, but remember I have NO EXPERIENCE in these matters. 

https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/425573363

https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/425568577

The assignment was to do only one game, I did two, there was a third game that I could have made, but I got stuck on one part, as there were a couple of concepts I could not figure out.    But I tell you  I really liked working in Scratch.  Its pretty entertaining. 

We also had an assignment to create a miniwebsite about our favorite preformer.   I picked Lady Gaga.  I like Lady Gaga, maybe not quite that much, but she was the only one that came to mind for that assignment. I stressed over this choice.  I put more emphasis on content than the actul construction.   Anyways,  I need to create a repository so I can display my very rudimentary skills.   Repository another term I had no idea what it was.   

This was all before the class started, I had no idea, what I was really getting into, and I took my time going through the pre-work that was assigned.  I did complete it all and exactly one week before class started.  I was quite happy about that.    But I was so scared, because this was a great unknown.  Want to jar your senses, go do something completely out of your comfort zone.  

Jumping into the abysss, stay tuned for more adventures of the girl who learned to code.  

Its that time of year again for Lollapalooza, but thanks to Covid-19 it is a virtual show.   But this morning I decided we would try to recreate our experience, so we shall picnic on a blanket on the floor, fill the Camelbak, drink warm beer (well maybe not that far), and watch the stream on You Tube.    Then we shall rememember all the experiences we have had.    

Usually around this time, maybe a week or so before I start my homework and researching the bands I may want to hear.  The part I love about Lolla is not so much the headliners, its those early acts I might never have heard about or paid to see since I had never heard of them before.  It’s a great opportunity to expand musical interests.   Usually what I do is I take the daily line up and start from the earliest acts and listen to them on Spotify.  I will make a playlist by day.  Ken and I will listen to the playlist on the way down, we usually take the L.     Then we will flag the artists we want to see.  

In recent years we also like to see the early acts at the super small stages like the BudLite Cantina or the Toyota Stage.  It’s a good way to catch the early acts you might have missed.    Last year one of my favorite acts was Get Loud's performance at the Toyota tent.  

We come geared up and ready.  Always good to be prepared.  It does take some planning.  I have a check list.  If you forget anything you can always buy it, but some stuff is a lot more expensive when you get down there.     I always have breakfast to eat before we go and have grapes for the ride down.  Grapes are good for keeping you hydrated.   Hydration is key.    We always have sunscreen, Camelbak, Sunglasses, wipes for cleaning hands.   We try to travel as light as possible.   We always go cashless, it’s the best option so you have less to worry about.   

Its always electric when you arrive.  There is a vibe, the crowd, the sounds, security, the wonderfully decorated entrance.  The line to get in.  Actually if you come in at the right time, the line to get in is pretty short.  Once you get through security and prove you are 21 or over, you have arrived.   We generally make a bee line for the water station to fill the camelbak, waiting in line can get hot.  

We have arrived and its time to find our first act grab a beer, probably use the restroom and watch the people. As if we haven't already been watching the people.  One of my favorite stories is the year we were wating in the security line, it might have been on a Sunday.    We were watching this group try to figure something out.  We realized they were trying to hide their drugs.   One of the girls, who was wearing very tiny shorts and a tiny top as the ladies of Lolla tend to do, was shoving a bag down her pants.  Ken and I were mesmerized by this process.  All the guys were staring at her crotch.   She asks loudly,  "well can you see it?  Can you see it?"   Ken and I look at each other and roll our eyes.  All those boys staring at her crotch saying no they couldn't see it.   She half turns and the top of the bag is sticking out the top of her shorts.   I whispered to Ken as they got swallowed up by the crowd, "if this is the future we are doomed." and I giggled, we both giggled.   

The powers of observation I highly important you might miss things along the way.  Like the year that two people dressed up in blowup Pikachu's and danced with each other.   The one year we watched a very loaded individual try to crawl over the sound tent fence, he got in, and couldn't figure out how to get out.    Definitely important is to find the right bathrooms  that have the shortest lines.  Being able to grab free water from security when its super hot out.   They will hand it out on occasion.  If you are not observant you might miss the various food specials that pop up.    The powers of observation are best used for people watching and the performances.  

I have seen so many performances my first Lollapalooza was in 1994 when Smashing Pumpkins and Beastie Boys performed.  We also so George Clinton that year.  That was when it was a travelling tour.       It would be almost 20 years before I started going back.    But I did go back in 2013 from then on I was hooked.    I go for the music, I go for the people watching, and I go because its what I love to do.   It’s a weekend of fun and memories.    Everyone I go with, we prefer to remember the memories.  While me might get pretty buzzed, we never get wasted.  If you get wasted you might just miss something.    

Don't forget while people watching you can watch for the glitter.  All the glitter, glitter everywhere.   We have nicknames for the various glitter looks people do.  Our favorite is the schmear on a guys chest.  We always want to ask if a fair sat on his chest.   We critique the glitter.     Don't get me wrong we love it, we love to see what everyone tries to do with it.   

  I am on the older side of the crowd, but that doesn't bother me.  I like live music.  I enjoy being with a crowd watching a band or artist perform and if I like them, I will go buy their album.   I will buy their merch.   I will talk about them and listen to them incessantly. 

Some other Lolla Memories:  NIN 2013. Sitting at the XRT Oasis and vowing that I would come back the next year for the full thing, and I did.  I  treated myself to VIP and had a blast with my not friend.  

The time we got caught in the middle of the Flume Performance and needed to leave to see another act, we could not see anything but people to get out.    Apparently it was the largest crowd for a single act.    The funny thing was we were pretty far back as we had been watching Silver Spun Pickups and the crowd just came.    I remember seeing the photo that someone had taken from one of the highrises, I showed Ken, it was pretty crazy to think we had been in the middle of that crowd.   

The year they added the flushing portapotties that was quite awesome!  I had never been so excited about a toilet. 

Sometimes you read the list of artists and it doesn't quite register who the band is.   We were getting beer by the BudLite Stage and I was signing lyrics to a song.  I realized I knew who the band was, it was Live.  I had seen them Live many years before.    I was quite buzzed and ran toward  the bandshell to watch the rest of their act.   We deciided we might need some food to soack up the beer after that.  

The food, we always try to get  the treats from Edzo’s.  They always had something special.  Also getting to try resturaunts you have not been too.    Lolla gets a lot of local favorites for the food.   They get the whole variety from snacks to desserts.     We will usually try to get a sample of several places and share, its better to share.     

Seeing Imagine Dragons for the first time and they were at too small a stage just like Greta Van Fleet 

That year Perry did a pop up stage and while waiting we decided Perry should run for President.  Because Perry knows how to run a show.  

Another time,  I had to go to the bathroom during a performance, and it was raining.  I was walking to the bathroom and didn’t realize Perry was playing the piano at the tequila tent (yeah we were in VIP).  I walked within 10 feet of him playing, and did not even realize it.  But in my defense it was raining and I had to pee. 

That time Kenner and I got our picture on a frozen Wine drink.  Actually that was pretty awesome and remained intact for most of the drink.  

The rainstorms we have sat through, and that one time we missed Lourde because we got evacuated.  .  

2019 and a weekend off Aperol Spritz

Whatever Toyota is giving away.  I have a collection of bandanas and other Toyota giveaways.  

The last 2 years in GA plus with our BudLite Clear carry pack that most bartenders would fill with ice for us.

The various sets of artists LL Cool J, Tenacious D, Shaq as DJ Disel, that was a great set.  

When we caught the end of to catch that one song by Walk the Moon, 'Shut up and Dance with Me'.   

 Hearing so many artists for the first time that  I might never have experienced here are a few that I really like: 

Regrettes

Fantastic Negrito

Chance the Rapper I remember him playing at the BMI stage.  

Kongos

Vance Joy

Imagine Dragons

Haim 

The New Respects

The year it was the Weeknd vs Vampire Weekend playing against each other.  Vampire Weekend made a comment about this.  We found it funny.  We were able to catch both.  

When we decided to leave Tame Impala because well it was too tame.   We walked down to see Childish Gambino and I was in love.  We caught a great performance.

The year Bruno Mars played and everyone thought he was done and started leaving and then they came back for another 20 minutes everyone had to run back.   Same thing happened at Red Hot Chili Peppers, they took a short break and people thought the show was over.   

Surprise Guests are the thing:    The year we saw Eminem and Rihanna was with him to perform Monster.   Another surprise guest was Chance the Rapper coming out to play with Death Cab for Cute,  we caught that and screamed so loud.   

That fabulous Tito's Bloody Mary Bar they had back in VIP.   I was in heaven that year.   

We were wearing masks long before it was a requirement.   (Picture) 

The different experiences the vendors the marketing campaigns all unique to Lolla.   For me it is one of the best ways to spend a weekend, wandering around listening to music.   Live music, seeing acts you might never get to see.   Really for the ticket price it’s a value if you go too a lot of shows over the course of the year.    In 2019 I paid a lot of money for 2 shows of single acts: Lady Gaga and Rolling Stones.  Both were unique performances,  and they were fantastic to see, but you get a hundred plus acts for less than I paid for one of those tickets.   Even upgrading to GA+ is still a bargain for the number of acts you can see.    

We try to get there early.   Occasionally it can be a challenge, like when someone jumps on the tracks and we end up sitting in the L tracks for 30 minutes.   Thank goodness they moved the cars to a station so we could get out and catch a cab.   

After the show ends for the night can be entertaining too like the time we walked over to the congress hotel and had some drinks to wait for the crowd to thin out before calling an Uber.   We watched a guy try to pick up a girl and he was sitting on  the arm of a chair, the girl would have none of it, so she got up and the chair wasn't very heavy so the guy and the chair toppled over.  It was pretty funny.   We couldn't laugh as they were less than 5 feet from us.  

The time we got evacuated and Ken took me through lower Wacker.   His knowledge of lower Wacker came in handy to escape a rainstorm and find a hotel lobby to sit in while a storm passed through.    Minus the part where I had to step around sleeping homeless people, he was my hero.  

This year it’s a virtual celebration, but Ken and I will watch and remember and relive all our awesome memories.  All the steps (you can average 18-20k steps per day.   That won't happen this year, but in my mind I will be walking from stage to stage and dancing and drinking and laughing and smiling.   I will miss the people watching this year!  But alas things to look forward to in 2021!

Hello to all my thinkers, 

I have a platform so I am going to use it for a moment.   Don't panic, I won't go too deep.  Just a couple things that I wanted to remind my friends of.  These are things that I feel are important.  

 Live local and do it local.  Eat at your local restaurants, shop at your local stores.   Keep your tax dollars in your hood, it benefits many. PS, this is something you can do all the time not just during the pandemic.    

Social Distance and wear a mask. When going out please wear a mask keep your friends safe.  Social distance when possible.  You don't have to live like a hermit you can go out in the world, but stay 6 feet apart.  Ya know the length of a shark or some such.    

Get out and Vote.  Is this topsy-turvy world driving you crazy?   Make sure you vote! Vote early, by mail or in person, just vote.   You can be the change.  Not registered, do it today and make your voice heard.  

Get involved with your community!   Everyone is part of the community and everyone should be an active member, even if its just to say hello to your neighbors.    

Thank you for taking this moment to hear me out.   More thoughts to come….

I just got a bit of bad news. Another rejection from a job interview. It’s a sting and a disappointment. I have gotten a few rejections, but this was the first that I had made it to the first round of interviews. The upside is that a rejection like a failure means I have been trying to get a job. That would be a thought for another day. Something that brings me peace and a clear mind among other things is Yoga.

When I first left my job I made a promise to myself that I would do yoga. I had a long list of items that I wanted to make sure I started doing on a regular basis. One I would commit to doing was yoga on a regular basis. If you go back in my journal at those early days I mention doing yoga on a regular basis and a couple times of week I actually completed a you tube video. Since then I have been slowly increasing the amount of yoga I have been practicing.

After a few weeks of practice, something started to change in me. I would get up and tidy up my condo, and my mind would say lets do some yoga. I started increasing the number of days I was practicing yoga and I was doing a video three to four times a week, every morning sometime between 9 am and 11am I will do a yoga video. I have found as I have gone on this journey that my body continues to push me. Some of the videos make me sweat and are a good challenge. My body likes this challenge and in the last two weeks I have practice at least 5 times a week. This week, I have started noting my practice in my Apple Watch.

I am not a member of any Yoga Studio. Plus the world is still on lockdown, so my practice the last several weeks has been exclusively on You Tube. I follow 3 different teachers (yogis):

• Yoga with Adrienne

• Yoga Floating School

• Yogiapproved.com

They each have great beginning videos that break down each pose for those that are just starting out. I find the instructors enjoyable to watch and very personable, their personalities seem to come through during their instructions. Some other yoga instructions videos I found just go from pose to pose to pose with no personality or connection at all. The above three give some unique perspectives, tell stories, and make the video a bit more of a personal connection. I am not an expert by any means, I would have a long way to go for that, but they make the practice both a challenge and enjoyable. I subscribe to the above and rotate them to get a different workout every time I watch. I have become a fan of Vinyasa Flow. That is a good challenge for me.

Today I was thinking about what has happened in the last several weeks as my practice has increased. First and most notable are my muscles are fully engaged. They are moving into a burn mode. The low grade burn you feel when you are utilizing your muscles. I have to say, I positively adore that feeling. In additions, I feel stronger and more energetic throughout my day. On the days that I practice, I feel more grounded and focused. Even when I am tired it really does perk me up and wakes up my body and gets my blood flowing. I also feel more creative and engaged with the world around me. It’s a really nice feeling actually.

Physically, I feel like my body is getting toner. I am not a slim person by any stretch. In the last two months, I feel that I have definitely lost the flabby feeling. I don't feel as bloated. My ankles and my feet do not seem to be swollen as they had been. My upper arms which were getting very large are getting much toner. A lto of my shirts were not fitting well in the arms. Recently many dresses and shirts that I have been wearing fit better in the upper arms. My arms are not slim but they are gaining more definition. Also my midsection is getting toner. Some of my shorts and jeans are not as tight in the waist band and I had a pair of shorts sliding down my butt. Perhaps I should remember to wear a belt. Also, a new change, in the last week I have also had a strong desire to eat more veggies and less meat. We shall see where that feeling takes me. Body shape is clearly slowly changing. A lot of these poses are a physical challenge and can make you feel breathless, like you just ran for a few minutes.

The other thought that I have been having is the focus on breath during the practice. Yoga talks about breath, deep inhales and deep exhales. The focus on breath is a major focus in all the videos that I have watch inhale doing a pose and exhale through each transition The effort of some of the poses as I stated earlier really challenges breathing. Is it possible that this can help in weight loss? I had read an interesting article once that asked the question where does the energy go, most specifically how does fat actually exit the body. This is not the specific article that I had read, but it does answer that question.

How Fat leaves the Body.

Fat leaves the body via exhalation in the form of Carbon Dioxide. This idea would lend credence that yoga which very much focuses on breath and breathing helps in that fat exhalation process. I am not a scientist. I can only give you what changes I have experienced through the practice in the last several weeks, I will say this, some of the workouts that I have done get you breathing very heavily which means there is a lot of carbon leaving the body. These workouts feel good between my muscles working and the concentrating on breath. Moving and breathing help lose weight.

"Even if one traces the fates of all the atoms in the body, the secret to weight loss remains the same: In order to lose weight, one needs to either eat less carbon or exercise more to remove extra carbon from the body." From

The secret to weight loss remains the same, eat less move more. I have been focusing on moving more since I have been out of work. But yoga has captured my attention for sure. I will continue to share my thoughts as I progress and perhaps I will find a studio I can join, but while I am out of work, my practice will be remaining at home.

What are your thoughts on Yoga? Do you practice? Have you ever wanted to start? Please share your thoughts with us.

More thoughts to come…

Genner

I never travel without my travel best friend. I love to travel, my boyfriend loves to travel But we never plan long trips without, my travel best friend, Yes, my travel best friend, Dan my travel agent. I found my travel best friend late one night. My boyfriend and I decided to take a big trip to Italy, I had several friends talking about how they booked their trips through various websites. They researched and put together their own itineraries. They recommended websites to go through to book.

The packages I found would include hotel, airfare, maybe some transfers and then what? Its one thing to wander around an area for a day, but it is another to plan food, tours, and other sightseeing opportunities for a week or longer. I didn't have time to research all that. My job was too demanding, so instead of researching travel websites I started looking for a Travel Agent. That search was a lot quicker than I anticipated. There were not very many travel agents listed. I picked one and hopped on their site and sent off an email.

I reached out to the travel agency that I found in my Google search. There were not a lot of listings for Travel Agents in my Google search. I was a bit concerned since there were not a lot of options from that search. I took a shot. My initial email was just to inquire if they could help me plan and book a trip. I honestly wasn't sure how it worked these days with people usually booking themselves on the internet. I got a fairly quick response from Dan. I explained what I was looking for. He said, yes this is what we do, we will plan everything for you. I emailed Dan with our list of travel requirements, what we were thinking, the dates we wanted to travel, what we specifically wanted to see on tours and of course the price range. Dan took the information and said he would be in touch with a few different options for us. He came back with various quotes, we altered our trip a few times. He designed the most wonderful trip for us. It had all the aspects we were looking for. It included tours, hotels, transfers, and airfare. Thus began the best travel relationship ever!

The beauty of your travel best friend is that should you need help or direction while travelling they are there for you. Dan reaches out to me when we are about to depart to give us reminders about travel documents and other things you might need. He will check in with us the day we leave. And if something goes wrong or you hit a bit of a kink in the plans, my travel best friend has always been there for us. We have had some interesting issues come up over the last few years while travelling. We had a flight cancel on us without our knowledge when we were trying to get home from Venice. Dan got things rerouted for us and rebooked. I was never happier to have him respond immediately to a text message and smooth everything over for us to get us home. He also negotiated a wonderful credit from that airline that we were able to use for another trip. Having a travel best friend gives you that extra support

My travel best friend takes a lot of the guess work out of travel for us. Dan has only ever recommended places that have great reviews. When he found that a hotel we were going to stay at for a trip really wasn't that good despite being a well known chain, he contacted me and recommended a different hotel. He was right and we loved the choice of places we stayed at. He asks a lot of questions to make sure what he is booking for us is what we are looking for. I have approached him with ideas and time frames and he will honestly tell me if its worth the time. For example my girlfriends and I wanted to have a vacation somewhere tropical. We decided on Cabo San Lucas. I checked in with Dan, who immediately told me we don't want to go there if we want to go to the beach and swim. We changed our course for that trip and ended up booking a place in Jamaica. That's the best kind of friend to have, someone who will stop you and say, this is probably not what you want. I trust him for that kind of advice.

My travel best friend helps us get more bang of our buck. When we were booking a cruise last year. Dan approached us and said we would get a better deal if we booked the airfare ourselves. We booked our own airfare but Dan arranged for everything else including our additional hotel stays in Anchorage and Vancouver. When I had a trip to Mexico planned, Dan spotted there was a price drop for our trip and was able to get us an upgrade at no additional costs. He truly has watched our backs to make sure we get our money's worth. Because Dan is doing the booking, tours and other things have a bit of a discount that you might not get booking on your own. Its wonderful to know that if prices change or upgrades open up, he is monitoring that and will notify us if anything changes. We have been able to get several upgrades at places just from Dan watching the bookings for us.

I never plan a trip without my best friend. If I am going to spend a lot of money on a special trip, the first person I contact is Dan. Dan makes our grand ideas into reality. He has the knowledge and the connections to find the best options for us. He can help make the extra tours seamlessly fit into the itinerary. You don't have to think about it, because it will fit logistically in with what is already planned. Last year I wanted a special birthday trip and he helped us arrange an all-inclusive at a resort outside of Cancun. Dan knew it was my birthday and let the staff know and they gave me a towel cake with rose petals. I know that special touch was because of Dan. He makes sure we have the little extras to make the trip just a bit more special. He helps with those little details that you might not think about when planning a trip.

Right now with Covid-19 and everything closed, we have a lot of credits on trips that had to be cancelled. Dan and I have continued to keep in touch about when the world opens up. I imagine his business has been negatively impacted. I will say this if you are planning a trip anywhere in the world, talk to Dan first, I promise he will make your trip special. Or, find your own travel best friend. If you enjoy travelling and want to take some of the stress out of the process, find a travel best friend to help you find the best deals.

If you are planning a trip in the future, contact my Best Friend Dan:

All the thoughts from me to you, more thoughts to come soon!

Genner

It is true, I quit my very solid job in the middle of a pandemic.  I also quit my job in the middle of the pandemic without a plan B.    My company was going through rounds of layoffs and furloughs.     Instead of waiting to be let go, I quit.   I don't regret that part.      I have to say, all my friends and family have been so very supportive of my very rash decision.   While I baking  and writing, the back of my mind keeps reminding me of the need to actually do something that pays a bit of money.     Even Frank is being supportive, as he gives me that eye while he sits next to me while I write this.   But I digress.  The scary part, the part that seems to tug at my subconscious and affects my dreams is what am I actually qualified to do? 

When I quite my job, I announced  to everyone that I was going to take a few months off to gather myself, breathe for a moment, and just figure out what Jen wants to do when she grows up,  I took my job out of college, because my mom wanted me to get a job, and it was time I got my grown up job.     My dad had died two years before and I had zero ambitions.   My dad would push me to do things, my mom wanted me to just get on with it.   Don't get me wrong, I loved my mother very much, but she was the practical parent.   Get a job, keep the job, save for retirement.   I complied, however,  I had a hard time finding something again, little to no ambitions make it hard to find something you want to do.     I was young and probably didn't interview very well.   Alas, someone took a chance on me.    Somehow I got a job working for a very large company in the management trainee program.  I had an excellent work ethic instilled in me by both parents, so I worked very hard, and finally found a position in the company I excelled at it and was able to move into a management position.   I had a career that I liked, but I always wanted to do something else, but I didn't know what I would be good at.    I was never willing to take the leap and try to find something else.     When I quit, without a plan B, my plan was to take my time to learn and find something that I could be passionate about.   

I lasted 2 days.  That work ethic I mentioned, wouldn't let me sit still, and two days in I set up a LinkedIn account (www.linkedin.com) and started networking.    I had never been on Linkedin before, when you just hop on it for the first time, it can be a bit of an overwhelming site with a whole lot of information.  Lots of information.     The first thing I noticed was because I listed my former employer, all the posts in my feed were for them.   Its like a bit of a slap in the face.   So, I got past that, made a very generic profile and started scrolling. 

What is nice about LinkedIn is that it sole focus about  working, information about industries, jobs, and networking yourself.   You can research companies, see job postings, and learn about different industries. There are various articles to read, you can spend hours going down that rabbit hole, of course this is a very productive rabbit hole, but 3 hours later you come up for air and wonder where your day went.  I had to learn somehow right?        Each  morning I have gotten up  and start scrolling through and trying to learn the site and how to find information  on industries and companies and job postings.  I would study different profiles and would  start changing my profile here and there, as I looked at various postings and profiles.  I wake up with a different job idea and see what information I could garner. 

One change I did make, was to show I am an active member of society, I changed my profile to have this blog be my current job.   Nothing wrong with that, because I wanted to show I am still active, I am not just seeking a job.     Just kidding I want a pay check like everyone else, but I want to do something new.    I have been wanting to make this move for years, but my previous position was pretty demanding, it made it hard for me to mentally get myself together and start actively looking for a job.     I always knew that I wanted to try something new and different, mostly because I just took a job out of college.  I don't regret it, but I didn't have much ambition at that point in my life.  

Here I am learning to network and make contacts and start looking a job postings to find my new perfect job.  Downside,  in a situation  where you stayed for years, then you leave with no plan B, it literally feels like you are just rejoining the workforce. Almost as if you have never had a job before.   As if you have been out of work for years.    Its an odd feeling, because I look at these postings and I cannot even imagine what they are talking about half the time.  If you look at a job posting, its like reading a different language.  Clearly there is a marketing spin on there to make it sound rich and complicated, but doesn't make sense when you just start looking at postings.        I have helped write job descriptions, for postings, but these postings boggle my mind.   I look at these postings and I always think of the question, that we would ask when interviewing candidates, "what makes you the best candidate for this position?".  Something to that effect.  Just starting to review them, I feel unable to even answer that question.  I look at qualifications and responsibilities and  I think to myself,  what kind of person would qualify to do this?    Like in Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice, the scene where Darcy, Bingley, and Elizabeth are talking about the accomplished woman: 

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with.  A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women.  I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”

Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen 

When I look at the postings for jobs, that is what I think about, Elizabeth's line.  "I rather wonder now at your knowing any"     the lists of requirements and qualifications can be extensive and detailed, and who possesses these skills?    What are some of these skills?  What do they mean?  How do you even get them?   

Job posts only really makes sense to the people posting it.     Then you think after reading through the post, can I even do what they are asking?  Am I even qualified for something like that?   Would  my resume even reflect that I am a capable human being, who has years of experience doing something?   That's where I get lost and scared.   Navigating these, it feels like I know nothing, and I am pretty sure this is not accurate.   

 I seriously feel like I have not been working at all, even though I have had a steady job for years and was an account supervisor that oversaw a team of 7.  I designed and implemented workflows, put together training materials, used my analytical skills to solve problems for internal and external clients.    Looking for a job makes you feel like the skills you may have are not even good enough or useful.   I know I have skills and I need to do more research to figure out what skills I have that I can use to apply for a job and market myself.   

This is an opportunity for me to become ambitious, and try to find something that I really want to do.    This will be a learning experience, and one that I do welcome.   Having had worked for the same company for many years, then to go on a search for a new position, makes me feel like a divorced woman wanting to jump back into the dating pool, only to find out that dating is done on-line and not in the traditional way. It’s a shock to the system, and takes a moment to get yourself adjusted to the concept, but new doors could open that I would never have seen before.      Everyday I learn something new about looking for a job.   Everyday I improve my profile on LinkedIn, and get ideas for my resume and cover letter.   I also find new industries to look at.     I am slowly learning the scary language of job postings.   This morning as I sketched out some ideas for my resume, some postings that I looked at made more sense.  I still haven't a clue what I am really qualified to do.   However, I am overcoming some of my fears.   I have made copious notes and read posting after posting 

This will be an interesting journey and I thank you for joining me.   Happy journeys everyone! 

I quit my job in the middle of a pandemic.  Yeah this brought bad ass decisions to a whole new level.   But I was under a lot of stress and working from home to boot.  It was making me so unhappy and affecting my sleep and upset my routine.    It mentally Brooke me.   I needed a change, so I very not so rashly after a sleepless night spent crying, quit.

Coming soon.  So this is really happening?   Its been a lot of discussing, practicing, building, debating, learning, and a whole bunch of other ‘ing’ words.