It is true, I quit my very solid job in the middle of a pandemic. I also quit my job in the middle of the pandemic without a plan B. My company was going through rounds of layoffs and furloughs. Instead of waiting to be let go, I quit. I don't regret that part. I have to say, all my friends and family have been so very supportive of my very rash decision. While I baking and writing, the back of my mind keeps reminding me of the need to actually do something that pays a bit of money. Even Frank is being supportive, as he gives me that eye while he sits next to me while I write this. But I digress. The scary part, the part that seems to tug at my subconscious and affects my dreams is what am I actually qualified to do?
When I quite my job, I announced to everyone that I was going to take a few months off to gather myself, breathe for a moment, and just figure out what Jen wants to do when she grows up, I took my job out of college, because my mom wanted me to get a job, and it was time I got my grown up job. My dad had died two years before and I had zero ambitions. My dad would push me to do things, my mom wanted me to just get on with it. Don't get me wrong, I loved my mother very much, but she was the practical parent. Get a job, keep the job, save for retirement. I complied, however, I had a hard time finding something again, little to no ambitions make it hard to find something you want to do. I was young and probably didn't interview very well. Alas, someone took a chance on me. Somehow I got a job working for a very large company in the management trainee program. I had an excellent work ethic instilled in me by both parents, so I worked very hard, and finally found a position in the company I excelled at it and was able to move into a management position. I had a career that I liked, but I always wanted to do something else, but I didn't know what I would be good at. I was never willing to take the leap and try to find something else. When I quit, without a plan B, my plan was to take my time to learn and find something that I could be passionate about.
I lasted 2 days. That work ethic I mentioned, wouldn't let me sit still, and two days in I set up a LinkedIn account (www.linkedin.com) and started networking. I had never been on Linkedin before, when you just hop on it for the first time, it can be a bit of an overwhelming site with a whole lot of information. Lots of information. The first thing I noticed was because I listed my former employer, all the posts in my feed were for them. Its like a bit of a slap in the face. So, I got past that, made a very generic profile and started scrolling.
What is nice about LinkedIn is that it sole focus about working, information about industries, jobs, and networking yourself. You can research companies, see job postings, and learn about different industries. There are various articles to read, you can spend hours going down that rabbit hole, of course this is a very productive rabbit hole, but 3 hours later you come up for air and wonder where your day went. I had to learn somehow right? Each morning I have gotten up and start scrolling through and trying to learn the site and how to find information on industries and companies and job postings. I would study different profiles and would start changing my profile here and there, as I looked at various postings and profiles. I wake up with a different job idea and see what information I could garner.
One change I did make, was to show I am an active member of society, I changed my profile to have this blog be my current job. Nothing wrong with that, because I wanted to show I am still active, I am not just seeking a job. Just kidding I want a pay check like everyone else, but I want to do something new. I have been wanting to make this move for years, but my previous position was pretty demanding, it made it hard for me to mentally get myself together and start actively looking for a job. I always knew that I wanted to try something new and different, mostly because I just took a job out of college. I don't regret it, but I didn't have much ambition at that point in my life.
Here I am learning to network and make contacts and start looking a job postings to find my new perfect job. Downside, in a situation where you stayed for years, then you leave with no plan B, it literally feels like you are just rejoining the workforce. Almost as if you have never had a job before. As if you have been out of work for years. Its an odd feeling, because I look at these postings and I cannot even imagine what they are talking about half the time. If you look at a job posting, its like reading a different language. Clearly there is a marketing spin on there to make it sound rich and complicated, but doesn't make sense when you just start looking at postings. I have helped write job descriptions, for postings, but these postings boggle my mind. I look at these postings and I always think of the question, that we would ask when interviewing candidates, "what makes you the best candidate for this position?". Something to that effect. Just starting to review them, I feel unable to even answer that question. I look at qualifications and responsibilities and I think to myself, what kind of person would qualify to do this? Like in Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice, the scene where Darcy, Bingley, and Elizabeth are talking about the accomplished woman:
“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”
“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”
Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen
When I look at the postings for jobs, that is what I think about, Elizabeth's line. "I rather wonder now at your knowing any" the lists of requirements and qualifications can be extensive and detailed, and who possesses these skills? What are some of these skills? What do they mean? How do you even get them?
Job posts only really makes sense to the people posting it. Then you think after reading through the post, can I even do what they are asking? Am I even qualified for something like that? Would my resume even reflect that I am a capable human being, who has years of experience doing something? That's where I get lost and scared. Navigating these, it feels like I know nothing, and I am pretty sure this is not accurate.
I seriously feel like I have not been working at all, even though I have had a steady job for years and was an account supervisor that oversaw a team of 7. I designed and implemented workflows, put together training materials, used my analytical skills to solve problems for internal and external clients. Looking for a job makes you feel like the skills you may have are not even good enough or useful. I know I have skills and I need to do more research to figure out what skills I have that I can use to apply for a job and market myself.
This is an opportunity for me to become ambitious, and try to find something that I really want to do. This will be a learning experience, and one that I do welcome. Having had worked for the same company for many years, then to go on a search for a new position, makes me feel like a divorced woman wanting to jump back into the dating pool, only to find out that dating is done on-line and not in the traditional way. It’s a shock to the system, and takes a moment to get yourself adjusted to the concept, but new doors could open that I would never have seen before. Everyday I learn something new about looking for a job. Everyday I improve my profile on LinkedIn, and get ideas for my resume and cover letter. I also find new industries to look at. I am slowly learning the scary language of job postings. This morning as I sketched out some ideas for my resume, some postings that I looked at made more sense. I still haven't a clue what I am really qualified to do. However, I am overcoming some of my fears. I have made copious notes and read posting after posting
This will be an interesting journey and I thank you for joining me. Happy journeys everyone!